It Falls Apart

Recently on a message board that I frequent, a friend of mind metioned that is seems every time she tries to get closer to God, thigns begin to go wrong and everything gets worse. I can quite easily relate, as I've had similar experiences in my life, all too many times in fact. It actually started right after I got saved back in July of 'o5. Before that, everything was ok, not spectacular or anything, but not really on the low side either, afterwards it seems things started to fall apart. Later on in life, when I tried to get back into reading my Bible and praying and diong my devotions and all that, it'll go good for a little while, but then, again, it all seems to coem crashing down. When it rains it pours, and my word can it pour. It's just one things after another with no break in between sometimes. I finally get over this or work through that just to be smacked in the face with yet another depressing problem. I wish I could say I felt like Thousand Foot Krutch's song "Falls Apart" with the lines "It falls apart, from the very start, it falls apart, seems like everything I touch, falls apart, everything around me falls apart, when I walk away from You" but I seem to be just the opposite. It all falls apart when I get close to God, and life works out fine away from Him, or so it seems. I feel like I'm living what we've been going over the past coouple weeks un Sunday school in Psalm 73, where Asaph saw the wicked and how much they prospered while those who feared God dealt with so many problems, because not only am I feelign those problems, I'm feeling that easiness and simplicity away from Him.

But, when I considered all of this more in depth, I came upon an idea that I think very much to be the truth. It's not that everything goes wrong because I'm trying to get closer to God, it's that He was waiting for me to get closer to Him and become stronger before I was faced with those trials. It's not Him forsaking me when I run to Him, it's Him protecting me until I do make it into the Strong Tower that is His love. I can't help but feel that if I had gone through some of those trials when I hadn't been closer to Him, I might not have been able to make it through them.

--SF